I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
