Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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