at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
