pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
