you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
