I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
