No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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