Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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