I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The Olympian is in my bed
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