soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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