When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
