I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
