I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
