I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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