I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So squirting runs in the family.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
