WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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