I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
