Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
