I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
