i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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