You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've blown a few things in my day
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
and you fell through a lawn chair
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
