i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
