White coat. Heels.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
