I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
