She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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