whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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