he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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