I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
