the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
