Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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