I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
