i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
