Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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