I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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