I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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