i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
