tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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