Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
