yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
