when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
