So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
