i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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