I skipped work to stalk him.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
