He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it hurts more in the daytime
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
