Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize