I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
