all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
