don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
