Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
