if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
worst night to have a conscience
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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