Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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