Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
