Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize