Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
