woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
