Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In America we eat man semen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This baby is an asshole
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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