Your face is a jimmy john
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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