Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize