VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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