how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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