I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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