How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
