K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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