arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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