how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
