I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
