He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
