Christians are straight up FREAKS
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
